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One of the most valuable assets your career can have is a good mentor. A major barrier to the career advancement and socialization for women within a company is the lack of senior female mentors and role models. If you have to look outside the company for this support, how do you know where to begin?
What are the qualities of a good mentor — including someone who can support you with how your career blends best with your personal life?
MENTOR QUALITIES
In addition to the nineteen elements of learned skills authors Johnson and Ridley recommend in their book, The Elements of Mentoring, they suggest a mentor be able to understand their protégé's mental and emotional state to support their overall development. The authors propose the adoption of a sincere attitude of care and the necessary knowledge you need to provide help.
WHAT MENTORS DO
In organizations, mentors are typically more seasoned individuals working with juniors to help them learn the ropes or improve their performances. They can serve as an experienced, wise and trusted counselor, teacher and sounding board. Mentors provide useful role modeling for you to adopt, encouraging you to build confidence along the way. They can provide sponsorship for taking on tasks, recommend transfers to new areas and even help you get a promotion. Because of their experience with the company they will know who to introduce you to, suggest useful work strategies, skills, and knowledge to add to your career portfolio.
WORKING WITH MALE MENTORS
In Management-Issues online article, Survey Names Top U.S. Companies for Women, says that of the National Association for Female Executives top 30 nominated companies, "Three-quarters have formal compensation policies that reward managers who help women advance, and seven out of 10 companies hold managers individually accountable for helping the company meet its goals regarding women's advancement."
Despite inducements to become a mentor, since it's mostly senior male associates who lead the corporate hierarchy, it can be complex to be mentored by them as a woman. This can be due to either party's fears of intimacy or fear of outside perceptions of the relationship. It can also be due to the fact that women's concerns are often different from what their male counterpart experienced at that stage in his career. Even when offered, the psychosocial aspects such as discussing personal concerns that affect your work, work-family problems, future career prospects, and so on, will not be likely topics.
Ragins and McFarlin in their Journal of Vocational Behavior, say "Research also confirms that apprentices in a cross-gender dyad are less likely to see their mentor as a role model and, thereby, less likely to realize the developmental benefits of an effective model."
So what can you do to seek informal mentors?
MENTORS OUTSIDE YOUR WORK
Women make up about 20% of the U.S. military. While the military offers mentoring programs, the U.S. Marine Corp's User Guide to Marine Corp Values states: "Everybody is a mentor and everybody has mentors. Most of us just don't use the word. Think back to all those who have helped you throughout your life to achieve the successes you have had. Remember that teacher in high school who helped you understand math, or that coach who worked with you to be a better sports team player? Remember the times your parents helped you through tough periods and supported you? They were mentoring you, providing assistance in the form of counsel to help you perform better and to assist you in your personal and professional growth."
So look into your life and consider who you know that is doing what you'd like to be doing or is someone you consider to be well-connected. Contact them and discuss your mentoring needs. If you're not comfortable using them, perhaps because they are a close friend, ask them for a direct contact of theirs who they can introduce you to.
To find someone outside your direct sphere of influence, there are many valuable women's sites online where you can research objective, professional mentors. Search for women+helping+women and you will locate many of these yourself. QuintessentialCareers.com is one website online that lists "Women's Career Networking and Professional Associations" from Art to Finance, Engineering and Technology. You can click onto these sites and search for "mentoring" or find their phone number to call and ask if they have a mentoring program.
For some helpful guides on mentoring, consider these books: Dr. Linda Phillips-Jones, a licensed psychologist and pioneer mentoring consultant, authored Mentors and Proteges, The New Mentors and Proteges - How to Succeed with the New Mentoring Partnerships and other excellent writings on this topic. Make A Difference - Mentoring Woman to Woman by Lindsey Clifford and Joy Barnett and The Mentee's Guide to Mentoring by Norman H. Cohen are other choices. Not surprisingly, many of the books by women for women have a religious or spiritual overtone, so consult Amazon or other bookstores for these preferred books.
Don't wait to find a mentor until your career is stalled, your project is delayed or personal-work decisions are causing you to pull your hair out. Your problems are probably not unique and someone has walked in your shoes. Decide your personal criteria and values that will allow you to be comfortable and receptive to help before making your mentor selection. Once this is done, feel confident to weigh their suggestions with your own and trust their experience and recommendations to help guide you. You'll be on your way to greater success more quickly!______________________________________________________________________________________
Laurie A. Sheppard is a master certified Life Coach and Career Strategist to mid-level professional women and entrepreneurs who want to make quality career and personal changes. She offers complimentary coaching sessions, giveaways and resources, including her free monthly e-zine, “Change-makers’ Career Tips,” at http://www.creatingatwill.com Ready to change your life? Contact Laurie today. c. 2007 This article is free to publish in its entirety, with this paragraph included and a courtesy email sent to info@creatingatwill.com
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