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Boredom, the absence of intellectually challenging work and having an unclear purpose, has kept women caught in restrictive roles. In the 19th century, women’s stoical silence resulted in illness and when they did voice their concerns they were given the popular diagnosis from male physicians of “hysteria.” The working woman emerged, yet women still report more physical illness symptoms, take more medications and see doctors more often than men. This is not an indication that you as a woman are "the weaker sex,” for if it that were true, women would not live longer than men. But one explanation is the frustration toll you experience in seeking a full contributing life, personally and professionally.
Betty Friedan spoke of this numbing malaise in The Feminine Mystique (1963), calling it “the problem that has no name.” It is both boredom and tiredness born from overwork, handling multiple roles, not having a clear direction, or not knowing how to move forward on what you really want to do. Some of the stereotypical roles women have assumed have been disguised as safeguards to prevent women’s exposure to more risky or potentially dangerous situations. Yet such immediate tradeoffs in professional arenas can result in un-stimulating work assignments and lack of recognition for project involvement.
So if you’ve been thinking up till now you were going crazy – you’re not. Your dilemma isn’t unfamiliar to many women. What can you do about it? First, set the stage for a change. Take an afternoon or day off and isolate yourself, especially where you’d have a chance to observe nature. Nature has a way of speaking to us all and offers a calming and centering focal point for deeper awareness.
- Your reason to be: Take your notebook and pen and write down every thought you have in mind about why you’re here on this planet and how you want to help others. Now recraft this into a two to three line statement that is about giving to others that is slightly broader and encompassing. This is your purpose. It can change, but generally stays the same. For example, “My purpose is…to support others in their personal and professional development and to help women utilize their leadership in rewarding careers.”
- Your expression or “calling”: How would you like to translate this purpose in work? Magic wand time. You get to brainstorm and write down all the ways you’d like this purpose to manifest in your work. Start with your most delicious work fantasies and then pair down this list when you contrast your skills and experience to this list. Still keep those elements of fantasy within your reach to integrate aspects of them.
- Your truth: Tell the truth about what you are committed to doing and not what you think you should commit to. If you’re unclear what it will take to pull off a particular goal, do your homework on this. Ask others who have done it or talk with a trusted professional to assess the validity of your idea and to help you with your plan. If you're seeking a new career, you will want to get support from an agency or career professional to help you develop a clear exit plan and prepare you for re-careering.
- Your goal plan: You should now know more about the change(s) you want to make within your existing career. Identify as many related goals as you can at this time. Further refine this list by circling the most important ones and prioritize them into a timeline. i.e. Initiate X project by end of summer.
- Your first step: How soon can you start? Be sure you have a support structure in place, a clear outlined plan and even a backup plan if your first objective meets with any road bumps.
For additional resources to help you understand where you are emotionally and mentally, to help shift your attitude and inspire a new focus for change, you may want to read one or two of the following:
Beyond Boredom and Anxiety: Experiencing Flow in Work and Play, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, A New Earth: Awakening to Life’s Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle, The Unheard Cry for Meaning: Psychotherapy and Humanism, by Victor Frankl, Rise Above It: A Psychiatrist Looks Within for a Higher Meaning to Life, by Dr. Ernest F. Pecci, and, for a more humorous look at meaning and purpose through simple wisdoms, The Meaning of Life, by Bradley Greive.
Taking actions can cause your spirit to lift up, renew hope and invite in whole new possibilities. Still, the expression, “you can bring a horse to water but you can’t make them drink,” applies here. You have to take the steps to produce the change and not expect that someone or something will come along to alter your situation. The good news is that you have the power to improve your circumstances.
Look ahead at what’s coming rather than at time “wasted” or past actions that didn’t produce what you wanted. “Each new season grows from the leftovers from the past. That is the essence of change, and change is the basic law.”* Again, your reading this article is an indication that you’re now ready to change, so commit to new results and take the actions that will get you there.
* - Hal Borland
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Laurie A. Sheppard is a master certified Life Coach and Career Strategist to mid-level professional women and entrepreneurs who want to make quality career and personal changes. She offers complimentary coaching sessions, giveaways and resources, including her free monthly e-zine, "Change-makers’ Career Tips," at http://www.creatingatwill.com . Ready to change your life? Contact Laurie today. c. 2007 This article is free to publish in its entirety, with this paragraph included and a courtesy email sent to info@creatingatwill.com
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