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“I’ll call.” “Yeah, right” is sometimes the doubtful reaction we have when others commit to a particular action. Maybe they’ve failed to come through too many times OR they may regard our “commitments” that way. How do we keep commitment from becoming a dirty word?
Negative feelings associated with the word, “commitment” are caused by action or behavior that we have taken lightly. When we consistently renege on our promises, the importance of commitment and our own integrity are rendered powerless. That powerlessness can result from over-commitment, unclear communication when committing, over-eagerness, an inability to say no, too many commitments (not time realistic), conflicting commitments, and letting little details get in the way of the bigger picture goals. Not recognizing any problems we have in this area makes commitment a burden. We hate to loose face and disappoint others and our self, so we might even narrow the scope of what we’re really capable of committing to.
First, we have to agree with others on the same interpretation. You might really mean you’ll consider a certain action and may or may not get to it — then that’s what should be conveyed. When you say you “commit” to do something, it means pledging or assigning yourself to some particular course and use. You entrust your word and self to others who rely on this promise as a grounds for expectation of success in completion of that action.
It doesn’t mean you’ll try or attempt to do something. It means you will do it. You don’t try to complete a work project. You choose it carefully, design its features and actions, consider its required resources (time, money and energy) and proceed to get it done. In the coach/client relationship, there is built in accountability for making and keeping promises. No one can be coached if they consistently don’t follow through. For some clients this is a learned skill that they may have little former experience with. Prior to focused action, they assumed that their good intentions for getting something done, was good enough even though they didn’t get it done.
Recognize your particular problem area as the starting place for correcting it. Next, find out how you allow those problems to deter you from follow through. It could be time to reassess what your plans are and gauging how much you’re invested in them. If you’re not honestly interested in something (and a red flag is continually postponing doing something you keep saying you’ll do), go back to the design phase and reexamine whether to eliminate it or modify it to suit your truer commitment to action. How do you handle breaking a commitment after you’ve made it?
Laurie A. Sheppard is a master certified Life Coach and Career Strategist to mid-level professional women and women entrepreneurs who want to make quality career and personal changes.
Ready to change your life? Contact Laurie at info@creatingatwill.com or call her at 310-645-2874. Sign up to receive monthly career tips
c. 2005, 2006 This article is free to publish in its entirety, with a courtesy email to info@creatingatwill.com
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